Honestly, this is way too much of a tragedy for me to say anything bad about this poor fella. Really just an awful situation. Instead I would like to talk about social equality.
uh, April Fools. Time to not show any respect for the fact that this kid just died. Now let’s continue
Well 21 year old Shain Gandee, star of popular for some reason MTV show Buckwild, has a heart that is no longer beating. Which kind of raises the question: does his brain work better now? Sources report that Shain was last seen leaving a bar Sunday morning at 3 a.m. with his friend and uncle, immediately after informing their fellow bar-goers that they were going off-road driving. Surprise to just about no one, the West Virginia native was last seen drunk at a bar leaving with his uncle.
FINALLY. Feels like fucking Christmas for me right now. If you know me personally by any means, you know how much I despise MTV, and Buckwild recently became the new focus of my hatred. Obviously it’s fucking tragic that this young soul has passed away, along with his slam piece/uncle and the unidentified third passenger. But come on…it’s Buckwild… Side note: How much does it suck being labeled as the “unidentified passenger”? That’s like alluding to the idea that some homeless 99%er could’ve just snuck into the back of their car for this little lack-of-road trip. Even in death that sucks. This guy will forever be the nobody that died in the backseat of a 1984 Ford Bronco driven by that fucking loser from Buckwild’s uncle… Somebody please put that on his tombstone.
Hopefully those inbred fuckers don’t try to use this as the undying flame to their motivation for an upcoming season, I would really hate that. Like, more than Tom Brady. And I fucking hate Tom Brady. But seeing as Shain was considered the single “breakout” “star” of the show, I’m banking on this show dying faster than Casey Anthony’s next kid.
His name is also “Shain”, which is a lot like Shane, if you let a second grade inner city black kid spell it. I also have a really strong feeling that his parents signed his birth certificate in red crayon, just seems like that kind of family.
Well that’s it for me,
Drink irresponsibly. Doctor’s orders
Dr. Yanal, Ph.D.